Designing The Collaboration Not The Rules

2025-12-13

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Designing the Collaboration, Not the Rules

December 12, 2025

I have actually tried taking the rules to another AI.

A while back, I asked for a clean list specifically so I could upload them into a different system at work. It did not recreate this partnership, but it did remove several of the same pain points — especially during code review. For example, it started defaulting into a much stricter mode instead of broad, helpful expansion.

But the bigger unlock was not the rules themselves.

It was how they were created.

All of this started when I said something like:

I feel like I have to retrain you every time I start a new chat.

That reframed the problem. Instead of fixing answers, we zoomed out and treated the collaboration itself as the thing to design.

From there, a loop emerged:

  • I would describe a repeated friction I was experiencing
  • I would ask the AI, “How do we prevent this from happening again?”
  • It would propose a candidate rule
  • I would tweak it to match how I actually work
  • It would restate it clearly
  • Once it proved useful, I would say, “Save it”

That loop repeated over time and eventually produced a fairly large ruleset.

One important caveat, though: even with the same rules, different AIs will not behave identically. Each system makes constant micro-adjustments based on interaction history, enforcement, and feedback. That is why dumping my rules wholesale into another AI helped — but did not recreate the same dynamic.

Which is also why I think the better approach is to collaborate with your AI to build your rules, based on the friction you are actually seeing.

I have thought about listing my rules at some point, but if I do, it would be as examples — not as a template to copy. The real value turned out to be the process of turning repeated friction into explicit guardrails, one at a time.

That shift — from correcting outputs to designing how you work together — is what made the difference.